Important people.

This years trip home, of all of my visits back to the UK, was as poignant as any have ever been.

The emotional turmoil of the year so far has left me a bit shell shocked if I’m completely honest with myself.. February, alone and recovering from surgery was particularly bad, though the sunshine helped enormously.

That I’ve been able to maintain some semblance of normality in my strange little abnormal world is mostly down to my growing friendship with Pam. She came into my life at a critical time I think, she entered the void, and become someone I feel closer too now, someone I feel I can rely on, as I hope she feels for me. 

We all have our issues, our baggage, especially as we get a little older and more set in our ways. She has hers, and oh yes, for sure I have mine, as she is discovering. I hope that as we travel along the road in this nice, easy, relaxed friendship, our understanding and feelings can grow.

Throughout my trip home we have maintained contact and chatted away about our days and our feelings. It has been lovely. We’ve even agreed to meet in Budapest for a few days before heading home to kalymnos. I can’t wait to see her and explore a new city with her, share our excitement and adventure.

Its a strange feeling, to be looking forward with anticipation to seeing Pam, Budapest and of course Dave and Svetlana’s wedding, while feeling sad at leaving Sam and the kids, Kyle and Mom behind again. Things change, they change. I see it more so with the passage of weeks and months between visits. 

I see the kids moving on with their lives, Sam growing into a mature, loving caring women and Kyle becoming the kind, generous and loving soul I always suspected and hoped he would be. I am immensely proud of them both. 

I had my first haircut from Kyle and even though he didn’t have a great deal to work with, I think its a really good haircut from my senior stylist son... I couldn’t afford him normally so I’m honoured to get a family freebie!! I love my son, I perhaps don’t show it enough or say it enough, but I do, very much, and I wish I could see him more and spend more time with him. I do hope with all my heart that he comes out to Kalymnos for a little holiday next year. 

Sam was more like the old Sam this time, a little less stressed about the house build and other stuff and things... Fun, happy, chatty and mostly smiling, just the way I like to see her. I know she has worries, of course. She knows if I can help, I will.

We get on so well and I love her to bits, so its really good to see things improving a touch. The kids..... well to be honest, these days I’m not so great with kids, my paternal instincts seem to have deserted me, but they are wonderful, if problematic at times, as are they all I’m sure. I may be a little biased! We took a walk into the woods yesterday and we three disappeared into the forest in search of mysterious boulders for Granda Mike to play on.. I enjoyed being with them and exploring the grounds. We came back damp, stung by the nettles, whipped by the tree branches and ready for a cuppa!

My mother is 81 next month. This is the first time she has refused to walk up to Deans for a coffee and preferred the car. I guess it was inevitable but its not something I’ve wanted to see. She is the most wonderful person, always a happy smile, always a few cheerful words, always glass half full, and with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, she has always been right... Now I can see the little signs of age more and more, a touch of memory loss and forgetfulness, the fragility. My sense of guilt at living so far away is tangible. The kids have their lives to lead, mom is not the indestructible everlasting I thought she was. I feel older, so how must she be feeling? Its hard to see the most important person in your life, the one you care more for, and love more than anyone else getting old.